This article is aiming at mentoring elements for faith-based men, in order to correct the issue of absent fathers.

Clutterbuck (2013) asked the question: ‘How valid is mentoring?’ Mentoring and its process have been used for centuries to impart tradition, to support, guide, care, counsel, model and advise people to reach their full potential (Fourie & Van den Berg 2007:94–95; Hendricks & Hendricks 1995:17–18). Mentoring has become a focal point in education, organisations, the health industry, practical theology and even the family dimension (Masango 2011). Although mentoring has been used in higher education, nursing, psychology, medicine, business and research, it has also become an increasingly important matter in families. This growing trend can be an ideal platform to mentor fathers with family issues. In addition, mentoring is an important and effective method in order to help men understand what fatherhood entails. A serious, current problem in family life is the lack of the fathering element. The decline in active fatherhood is not only a crucial driving force in society, but one of the key trends of the times (Popenoe 1996). Father absenteeism and fatherlessness are immense fatherhood issues, challenges and tendencies (Carstens 2014: 9–11; Dobbs 2013:2; Freeks 2011:4; Popenoe 1996; Williams 2014).

A Christian understanding of fatherhood stems from the Bible, and a possible solution for fatherhood issues lies in God through his Son, Jesus Christ, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to deal with social ills such as father hunger, father absence, fatherlessness and uninvolved fathers (Carstens 2014:9–11; McGee 1993:15; Popenoe 1996). The biblical fatherhood notion is not only about connection, teaching, training and equipping, but it also provides guidelines to attest to the uniqueness of God as Father, while demonstrating the pinnacle of the worth of an earthly father within a family system (Smail 1980:10).

This article explores the following question: What can faith-based institutions contribute to help curb the rising issues of father absence, fatherlessness and uninvolved fathers? This question is approached from a Christian viewpoint and deeply influenced by the idea of Christian or biblical fatherhood (Dobbs 2013; Nicolaides 2003; Steensma 1995; cf. also 2 Tm 6–17). The primary purpose of this article is therefore to suggest mentoring as a unique way to help faith-based fathers who grapple with fatherhood issues. In this article, the author considered possible mentoring principles as part of a strategy and solution to reduce the problem of absent fathers in families, communities, and society. This article also calls for Christian approaches to re-imagine men and fatherhood as an integrated, faith-based responsibility that aims to cultivate the earthly father in the image of God the Creator. Men are not irrelevant as often portrayed, and they should not feel bad or ashamed of who they are, although treated disrespectfully by society and most of the time by their own families.

This article’s most significant goal is to prioritise the meaning and viewpoint of the father as a mentor and mentorship as an approach within the family. Secondly is it my intended purpose to use this approach to reflect on fathers who grapple with family issues. The family issues considered in this context are absent fathers, fatherlessness, father hunger, non-involvement of fathers and fathers’ lack of responsibilities to families. According to literature used in this article, the terms can be described as follows: Father absence results from separation and divorce which are the main causes of family poverty and difficulties. Father absence also means that fathers do not live in the same household as their spouses and children. Fatherless indicates that the father has died or does not live with his family, especially his children. Fatherless refers also to a family or household who does not have a father, or lack the protection of the father, as well as families who do not know the identity of the father. Father hunger is a lack of sufficient fathering due to emotional unavailability, death or desertion. It is also experienced when children grew up without a father after they had lost him due to illness or an accident, or they had been isolated from him after a divorce. Father hunger is also the emotional distress people experience due to father absence. Uninvolved fathers are negligent parents who respond to only a few or no demands from their children. They have little emotional involvement with their children and, although they provide in the basic needs such as food and shelter, they are uninvolved in their children’s lives.

Children who experience father absence are at a higher risk of becoming victims of drug and alcohol abuse, violence, crime, risky sexual involvement and acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) (Gould & Ward 2015; Makusha & Richter 2015). There is growing attention among several scholars to the problem of father absence, and specifically the non-involvement of fathers (Salami & Okeke 2018:1). Many scholars in the domains of early childhood, education, psychology, sociology and social work have researched the problem of father absence and the decline in active fatherhood. The decline can be defined as a loss in the status of fatherhood in society or a society without fathers (Cohen, Ooms & Hutchins 1995; Okeke 2014; Popenoe 1996; Richter, Chikovore & Makusha 2010; United Nation 2011).

The decline in active fatherhood is a major contributor to many dilemmas in the world such as crime, premature sex and pregnancy, depression, substance abuse, poverty, and more (Popenoe 1996). The decline is one of the most unexpected, fundamental and noteworthy trends of our time (Lang & Zagorsky 2001:254).

Many countries, including South Africa, are paying immense attention to the issue of fatherhood and yet, it does not seem as if father absence is decreasing (Ratele, Shefer & Clowes 2012). South Africa, in particular, is rapidly becoming a fatherless society which is a society without involved fathers within families in which a large proportion of men behave immorally towards women and children (Feni 2016:2). That is why the South African discourse on fatherhood provokes serious debates, especially around the aspect of Christian fatherhood. It is also not surprising that neither Christian nor biblical fatherhood is emphasised as being important and relevant anymore. However, as author, I am of the firm opinion that fatherhood should dominate the religious discourse for an expansive and more hopeful vision for fatherhood as directed towards human social good.

Thirteen years ago, authors such as Wall (2007:53), argued that fatherhood should be reconsidered from a child-centred viewpoint rather than from an adult-centred viewpoint. There is nothing wrong with this statement, but it continues to emphasise the human domain, even if the focus is on children. Fatherhood should be viewed from a scriptural or biblical viewpoint. This is not a new concept, but a call to return to God the Father and his effective methods and prescriptions in the Bible for earthly fatherhood (Freeks 2018b:210). It is crucial to take cognisance that fatherhood and its origin derives from the Fatherhood of God (Steensma 1995:183). Scriptural examples are in Isaiah 64:8: ‘O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay; and You are the potter. We are formed by Your hand’; Deuteronomy 32:6: ‘Do you thus repay the Lord; O foolish and unwise people? Is not He your Father who has bought you? He has made you and established you’; Ephesians 4:6: ‘One God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all;’ and in 1 Corinthians 8:6:

Gushee (1995:435) insinuated Christian fatherhood as paradigm and authority for father absence and fatherlessness. I strongly agree with Gushee (1995) and support and affirm that the Bible should still function as the supreme source of authority for the moral life of faith-based families, institutions, communities and society. This should be the case even in an era of secular domination, convictions and debates about the family and the role of the father, including the fight against manhood (Dobson 2020) by the LGBT¹ (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) groups or movement, and especially the hatred of feminism (TDUSAE [The Dictionary Unit for South African English] 2006:427). Feminism is narrated as the justification of women’s rights on the premise of sexual equality. It is a worldview that is against the traditional role of men (cf. Dobson 2020; TDUSAE 2006:427). Feminism argues that there are no major distinctions between men and women, and that men and women are equal in value and roles in the family, church and society. From a biblical view ‘equal yet different’ – positional equal before God in Jesus Christ, yet functionally different (men do not get pregnant and do not carry an embryo or foetus for 9 months). In principle, this argument is partially true based on the above, especially when we study men and women from both the New and Old Testament perspectives. The Old Testament (Gn) presents gender equality and not male domination. It teaches that man and woman are created equally in the image of God and have joint dominion over the earth (Payne 2015; cf. also Gn 1:26–27).

In the New Testament, Paul, for example, affirmed the equality of man and woman when he greeted 10 specific people of which 7 out of the 10 are women (Payne 2015; cf. also Rm 16:1–16). In Galatians 3:28 and 1 Corinthians 11:11, Paul argued that men and women are equals in church life or for all humanity considering the Imago Dei. In Galatians 3:28, he indicated that there is no division of Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female, for all are one in Christ Jesus (cf. Payne 2015). Nevertheless, the Bible is also very clear about certain aspects such as priesthood. In the Old Testament, only men held the position of a priest (Ex 19:6; Is 61:6). This does not mean that men ruled over women. In the New Testament, God introduced the priesthood of all his people (cf. 1 Pt 2:9). The man (or the father) should take the leading role, together with the woman (or the mother), to lead their family into the holiness of God the Father. In the context of this article, the faith-based father is the priest of his household or family.

In Ephesians 5:25–29, scripture refers to the term head where Paul said that the man is the head of the woman or husband is the head of the wife. In the biblical text of the Old Testament, man is presented as the crowning work of God’s creation, and the truth is also told about the line of descent between a man and a woman (cf. Gn 1:26–28; 2:4–24; 2:18–25). The word head in the Greek translation means ‘source’ and not a hierarchy of authority. In the context of this article, the phrase the source of – refers to the man (or father) who provides for the wife and children. In my view, being provider, as well as protector are good attributes of an involved father as mentor.

Furthermore, post-feminist discourses and viewpoints contradict the nature of gender roles and fatherhood. It also accentuates choice, freedom and female empowerment (cf. Gresaker 2017; TDUSAE 2006:427). Post-feminism integrates the ideology of equality and female empowerment in life (Köstenberger & Köstenberger 2014:312).

Post-feminism is, unfortunately, devoid of any realisation of God and his guidance for humanity and focuses only on the self. It is a self-centred movement that promotes self-realisation at the expense of others, which contrasts with and against fatherhood in the family, church and society (cf. Alard 2020:114). The post-feminist movement rebukes maleness and is creating a new perception of the word man. Post-feminists lash out for the deletion of gender-specific concepts and seek to replace these concepts with neutral concepts. Gay activists rage against heterosexuality and march in the streets with ‘I hate straight’ banners. Society keeps mixing and matching their images of manhood that are competing for the acceptance of men (Dobson 2020; Munroe 2001:17–18).

What is also disturbing, is that society and culture openly disrespect men and fathers, and often portray them as deadbeats, make them the topic of jokes, and call them worthless (Carstens 2014:9–11). Manhood has been emasculated, and society-dictated perceptions and opinions distort true manhood and create great confusion (Mohler 2010:19). Men and Christian fatherhood have been publicly attacked by gay activists and the feminist movement, for example, when the former Prime Minister of Iceland, Johanna Sigurdardottirs, spoke about toxic masculinity in an attempt to eradicate distinct gender roles and fatherhood (cf. Mohler 2010:19).

All these approaches and critics disregard, not only the importance of the Bible, but also question God, the initial author of the Bible. The Bible is significant and the most essential book in the world (Saucy 2003:3); in fact, it is the most influential book in the history of civilisation (White 2004:19). The Bible has fundamental truths for societal problems such as father absence, fatherlessness, uninvolved fathers, teenage dilemmas, and more (Sills 2016:33–34). It should be the prime and highest authority on family matters, including fatherhood (Dobson 2020). The Bible should guide faith-based families (Christians) in their lives, because it is the authoritative Word of God.

There is no exaggeration when we say that the root cause of the many problems in our society is father absence and fatherlessness (Freeks 2017:1–2). These issues are serious concerns and have been identified as the fourth-ranked problem in the world next to crime, drugs and violence (Carstens 2014:9–11).

The absence of a father causes devastating dysfunction in any family, including emotional, physical and spiritual problems, poverty, abuse, educational problems, crime, sexual problems, teenage pregnancy, and many more (Carstens 2014:9–11). Father absence impedes many children from receiving and giving love (Richter et al. 2010) and directly affects their behaviour and socio-emotional state (Gray & Anderson 2016). For example, boys who grow up without their fathers, develop behavioural problems such as emotional instabilities and aggression (Holborn & Eddy 2011). Girls who grow up without their fathers develop risky sexual behaviour, low self-esteem, and difficulties in forming and maintaining romantic relationships (Malherbe 2015). Most of these issues are related to the phenomenon of fatherhood. Therefore, fatherhood needs to be placed under the magnifying glass again. Where do we start?

In Christianity, God is known as God the Father, God our Father, and God the Father of Jesus Christ. Hence, the idea of fatherhood can be derived from Scripture, for example in 2 Corinthians 6:18 it says that, ‘And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord almighty.’ Jesus referred to God as his Father and he invites us into a relationship with God. He is also teaching us to address God as ‘our Father in heaven’ according to Matthew 6:9.

Therefore, fatherhood originates from the Fatherhood of God. God is the Father of his creation and people. Further, the Fatherhood of God is a model to show how faith-based, earthly fatherhood should be pursued (Freeks 2016:9–11). The Christian faith (or Christianity) has the potential to shape men and fathers to be more involved in their families (Wall 2007:53). Men were created by God to be the source and sustainer of humankind (Munroe 2008:43). The male is the foundation of his home. Fatherhood is God’s way of building and sustaining the human family (Munroe 2008:43). However, today, activists have the foolhardiness to contradict the Creator of the universe.

The Fatherhood of God is a central concept in the Bible, and knowing God as the Father lies at the heart of the Christian Gospel (Rm 8:15; Gl 4:5–6). The Fatherhood of God is proclaimed in Jesus Christ, because Jesus called God his Father and the Father of all (Jn 5:18–47; 8:19, 25–30; 10:29–30). Jesus asserted in John 8:41 that God is the only Father that all humans have, and they are his true children (Jn 17:3).

The research objective of this article is to propose mentoring as a workable training tool for faith-based fathers who grapple with family issues such as father absence, fatherlessness, and the non-involvement of fathers towards families, specifically children.

This article follows a literature review and discussion concerning mentoring as a workable training tool suggested to assist faith-based fathers who are absent and not involved with their families. The argument is based on how it affects boys, as well as girls.

This article followed the ethical standards for conducting research. However, in this context, I discussed mentoring from a literature review, and the research does not focus specifically on empirical results.

This article about the mentoring of fathers who grapple with fatherhood issues in a faith-based context led to these recommendations:

The faith-based father should demonstrate a godly character as a follower of Christ, and he should display specific attributes such as humility, gentleness and patience towards his wife and children (cf. Scalise 2010:53–54). Faith-based fathers should be mentored, equipped and trained to fulfil their godly role in the family. It is clear from this discussion that the faith-based father has a godly role and should continuously practise that role.