In the Tsonga tradition, burial is not only a familial obligation but also a communal and spiritual one that ensures the deceased’s dignity and their integration into the ancestral realm. The phrase ‘the corpse will suffer’ alludes to the anguish that arises from disputes between family members regarding burial rights, whether between paternal and maternal families, within polygamous households, or in the context of contemporary legal disputes. According to Manthwa and Kodisang (2025:1), burial disputes are becoming increasingly common in South African customary law. Customary law typically requires that the deceased be buried on ancestral land to maintain the connection between the living and the ancestors. According to Manthwa and Kodisang (2025:5), disputes over who should be permitted to bury the body may arise between the surviving spouse and the deceased’s family. Such disputes are frequently brought before the courts.

When families quarrel and the deceased becomes the silent victim of unresolved tension, the song Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka gives voice to a widespread social anxiety. It employs a profound cultural metaphor to convey the complexities of death, burial rights, and family conflict in African homes. The lament draws attention to the theological tension between human suffering and the sacred duty to honour the departed.

The song also seeks to restore broken family bonds and preserve peace within the community. In this sense, it reminds communities that death should unite them rather than divide them, functioning both as a pastoral tool and as a warning. Therefore, Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka is not merely a cultural expression of grief but also a pastoral instrument and a theological confession. It underscores the importance of pastoral support in addressing burial disputes and preserving the dignity of both the living and the dead.

The study argues that effective pastoral counselling can protect the dignity of the departed and the well-being of the family by providing emotional support, facilitating reconciliation, and offering culturally relevant guidance during times of loss.

Burying deceased family members in familial gravesites close to the homestead of the living has long been a tradition in Southern Africa (Parker & Zaal 2016:1). According to indigenous cultural and religious customs, proximate graves are essential for enabling ancestors to interact with their living descendants as well as with one another. In many African families, the corpse is more than merely a dead body; it carries cultural, spiritual, and symbolic significance. The way a person is buried symbolises the honour, cultural identity, and ancestral connections of the family. Many people therefore understand death not as an end but as a transition (Mbiti 1991).

However, rather than serving as a unifying event, the death of a family member sometimes results in disputes over burial rights. These conflicts typically occur in extended, blended, or polygamous households, where multiple factions compete for control over the body, particularly regarding the location and form of the funeral (Matsane 2019). The situation is further complicated by the intersection of modernity, religion, and tradition. For example, some families insist on burial near ancestral land, while others advocate for urban cemeteries because of accessibility or Christian customs (Ngubane 2004). In many cases, the widow’s voice is silenced in favour of the authority of the deceased’s paternal relatives (Dube 2016).

Instead of remaining a revered body, the corpse may become a contested object, leaving deep emotional wounds and fractured family relationships. These disagreements highlight the critical need for pastoral counselling and culturally appropriate mediation to address the spiritual, psychological, and social challenges associated with burial customs in African families (Mokgoro 2017).

In African cultures, death is not viewed merely as the end of life but rather as a gateway to the spiritual realm (Kagali, Kilonzo & Kasomo 2025). A poorly conducted funeral may have detrimental social, spiritual, or financial consequences, as the deceased are believed to continue influencing the living. Matsane (2019) observes that, in the Tsonga culture, funerals include ancestral ceremonies, community participation, and sometimes ritual offerings. Conflicts usually arise when the deceased’s wishes do not align with family expectations, or when certain family members are excluded from the planning process. In the song, Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka, these tensions are vividly articulated, illustrating how family disputes over authority can complicate the process of grieving.

Traditionally, the family was primarily responsible for caring for the deceased’s body (Slabbert 2016:235).

Burial disputes in South Africa occur within a broader cultural and spiritual framework, in which the corpse holds significant symbolic value (Manthwa & Kodisang 2025). In Tsonga, Zulu, and Xhosa traditions, burying a person not only determines their final resting place but also affects their reintegration into the family’s moral order and ancestral domain. Because burial situates the deceased within the family lineage, families may strongly defend what they perceive as their cultural rights over the body, especially when contemporary legal practices – such as prioritising surviving spouses – appear to contradict long-standing traditions (Slabbert 2016).

Conflicts are further intensified in modern households shaped by migration, polygamy, estrangement, and unregistered unions, where multiple individuals may claim legitimate authority over burial arrangements.

Examining court cases is therefore crucial, as judicial rulings demonstrate how legal and cultural systems interact during the grieving process. These cases reveal recurring patterns of conflict between children from different households, between widows and in-laws, and between legal rights and cultural norms (Martin et al. 2013). The examination of court cases provides the empirical basis for this study, highlighting these tensions and illustrating how burial disputes can become emotionally charged, socially disruptive, and spiritually distressing.

This is consistent with the sorrow expressed in the Tsonga saying, Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka. Such contextual awareness is essential for developing pastoral strategies that respect the customary significance of funerals while compassionately and theologically engaging families in conflict (Mokgoro 2017).

The practical-theological methodology employed in this study, combines theological reflection with empirical analysis to develop pastoral responses relevant to burial disputes. Court cases arising from disagreements over the remains of a deceased person, provide valuable insights into how families negotiate identity, belonging, and authority (Dube 2016). In this study, these disputes form the descriptive basis for analysing the emotional, cultural, and spiritual dynamics at work. Subsequently, pastoral hermeneutics and African contextual theology are used to interpret these cases and to explore their deeper implications. These include the moral significance of burial customs, the suffering reflected in the contested body, and the resulting breakdown of communal relationships (Balogi et al. 2024).

An outline of significant court cases in South Africa relating to burial rights is presented in Table 1, accompanied by cultural annotations explaining why such disputes frequently arise within Xitsonga, Zulu, and Xhosa traditions.

South African law recognises a diverse legal system in which common law and customary law coexist, sometimes in harmony but more often in tension, according to Mokgoro (2017). Under common law, the surviving spouse typically holds the primary authority and responsibility for determining the deceased’s funeral arrangements (Baloyi 2024). The legal reasoning behind this principle is that the spouse, being the person closest to the deceased at the time of death, carries the greatest responsibility for ensuring that the body is treated with dignity and respect. According to Kagali et al. (2025), courts have consistently upheld this position because of the spouse’s close relationship to the deceased, their legal standing, and the need for clarity regarding burial rights. Legal and customary tensions regarding burial authority have also been widely discussed within South African jurisprudence (Cliffe Dekker Hofmeyr 2013).

According to Matsane (2019), however, burial rights within African customary law are situated within a communal rather than an individualised framework. Within this paradigm, authority may be exercised by elders, male relatives, or the extended family, depending on local customs, patrilineal structures, and cultural understandings of identity and belonging. The location of the burial carries profound implications for spiritual legitimacy, lineage continuity, and ancestral connections, extending far beyond merely practical considerations (Dube 2016). In customary practice, the rights of the family are often prioritised over those of the spouse, particularly in cases where the marriage was not legally registered, lobola was not fully paid, or the relationship between the parties was strained (Manthwa & Kodisang 2025).

This contradiction frequently leads to legal and interpersonal tensions when common-law rights conflict with deeply embedded cultural practices (Matsane 2019). Disputes may arise over which side of the family has the final authority, which funeral rites should be observed, or where the deceased should ultimately be buried. In many cases, the body of the deceased becomes a contested symbol of identity and belonging, caught between competing legal frameworks and social expectations. Emotions within families are strained, and pastoral efforts to promote healing and reconciliation become more challenging, as what should be a moment of shared mourning may instead turn into a battleground of competing claims (Parker & Zaal 2016).

Manthwa and Kodisang (2025) observes that:

In many African cultural contexts, patriarchal structures – where men, particularly paternal uncles, brothers, or fathers, exercise authoritative control over the deceased’s destiny – have a significant influence on burial decisions (Slabbert 2016). In funeral discussions, widows are frequently marginalised, even when the deceased was married, and members of the husband’s family are often given precedence over the widow’s wishes. This gendered power imbalance reflects broader cultural norms that allocate final authority and lineage responsibilities to male relatives, often at the expense of the expressed wishes of the deceased and the emotional well-being of surviving female relatives.

Despite being the primary caregivers or having the closest emotional bond with the deceased, women are frequently excluded from crucial burial decisions, such as the location of the grave, the form of the ceremony, and the management of funeral rites. This exclusion may lead to pain, resentment, and prolonged grief, particularly for widows or daughters who are denied agency during a time of loss (Shoko & Danke 2024).

According to Shoko and Danke (2024), women also fulfil distinctive, though frequently undervalued, roles in funeral rituals, particularly in ritual preparation, mourning practices, and post-burial cleansing rites.

Despite being central to the spiritual and cultural dimensions of funerals, these responsibilities seldom coincide with decision-making authority. Women therefore find themselves excluded from strategic discussions while remaining essential to the execution of funeral traditions, creating a gendered paradox. Questions regarding the ‘ownership’ or ‘belonging’ of the corpse can become contentious points of debate and may lead to conflict – a situation that can become even more complicated when the deceased is a woman. Therefore, a gender-sensitive pastoral care approach is essential for promoting inclusion, dignity, and peace among all parties, while also challenging practices that confine women to passive roles in matters that profoundly affect them (Matsane 2019).

Elders and traditional leaders have significant influence over burial decisions in many African societies, and their authority is seldom questioned (Slabbert 2016). Their influence, deeply rooted in custom, collective memory, and heritage, enables them to oversee funeral arrangements, mediate disputes, and maintain social order. In situations involving the deceased, such as disagreements between maternal and paternal family members, or between the surviving spouse and the extended family, elders are often regarded as the final arbiters. Their decisions are typically grounded in indigenous law and oral traditions, which emphasise the preservation of clan continuity, the appeasement of ancestors, and the honouring of lineage (Mokgoro 2019).

The influence of elders and traditional leaders is not necessarily negative. When guided by values of justice, wisdom, and concern for the well-being of the community, they can serve as effective agents of peace and reconciliation (Shoko & Danke 2024). In many rural and semi-urban areas, they are respected as guardians of moral order and cultural tradition who can diffuse highly charged situations with dignity and authority.

However, tensions may arise when their decisions are perceived as gendered, biased, or inconsistent with the personal beliefs of the deceased, particularly in cases involving Christian converts or individuals who have lived outside the social norms.

To honour tradition and the family’s changing spiritual needs, pastoral caregivers are called to engage with cultural sensitivity, seeking dialogue with elders rather than confrontation confronting them. To honour the departed and support the bereaved family, church leaders and traditional authorities may collaborate by promoting mutual respect. (Kagali et al. 2025).

Migration and urbanisation have brought significant changes to traditional African burial customs, creating both logistical and cultural challenges (Martin et al. 2013). People who move to cities in pursuit of work and education often establish themselves far from their ancestral homes, which can complicate funeral arrangements. Deciding whether the deceased should be buried in their rural homeland, which is often regarded by extended family and custom as the appropriate place of rest, or in the city where they lived and perhaps raised a family, is a crucial decision.

This dilemma is further intensified when the deceased or their close family members have adopted modern urban lifestyles that diverge from traditional rural ways of living (Dube 2016). Long-distance transportation of the body often involves considerable administrative and financial challenges, which may further aggravate family tensions, particularly when a will or funeral arrangements are unclear. Moreover, relatives in rural areas who attach strong genealogical significance to ancestral land may be sceptical of, or openly oppose, cemetery burials or cremation practices that urban families might prefer.

Migration abroad may further complicate matters, introducing additional difficulties related to identity, belonging, and burial customs (Mokgoro 2017).

Extended families often play a significant role in burial disputes in many African societies because of the communal nature of kinship and the traditional belief that an individual’s identity and final resting place are closely related to their extended family lineage (Parker & Zaal 2016). The extended family, particularly paternal relatives, often considers itself entitled to make decisions regarding the deceased’s remains, even when the deceased had an established nuclear family. This sense of entitlement is rooted in traditional beliefs that emphasise the clan ownership of individuals, which holds that, for the deceased to be properly reunited with their ancestors, they must be returned to their ancestral home.

When death occurs, especially in metropolitan settings or within cross-cultural marriages, tensions may arise between the extended family and the spouse or children regarding the burial site, funeral customs, or even the funeral expenses. Such disputes frequently become emotionally charged, particularly when issues of inheritance, cultural identity, or unresolved family tensions are involved (Slabbert 2016).

According to Shoko and Danke (2024), when the deceased had strained relationships with certain family members, funerals may become arenas for power struggles or even acts of retaliation. Extended family members may exercise their authority by withholding assistance, taking control of funeral arrangements, or enforcing traditions that conflict with the deceased’s personal or religious convictions.

Slabbert (2016) notes that this phenomenon is especially prevalent in blended or polygamous families, as well as in situations where the deceased was unmarried or had children outside of marriage. In such cases, extended family members may prioritise traditions that reflect customary expectations rather than the expressed wishes of the deceased, leaving the spouse or children feeling marginalised. Pastoral caregivers must therefore be prepared to address these disputes with sensitivity and compassion, encouraging inclusive dialogue and ensuring that funeral practices uphold the dignity of the deceased while promoting reconciliation and healing among the living (Dube 2016).

Clan and tribal affiliations are highly significant in many African communities, shaping not only social identity and belonging but also burial customs and the final resting place of the deceased (Baloyi 2024). In many communities, the clan is regarded as the guardian of ancestry, culture, and identity. It is therefore common for a deceased individual to be buried in the ancestral village or on clan land, regardless of their place of residence or personal preferences. This situation can give rise to serious conflicts, particularly in intertribal marriages or when individuals adopt beliefs or lifestyles that diverge from traditional expectations.

Clan elders may insist that particular rites be performed in accordance with tribal customs, and failure to comply with these expectations is often interpreted as dishonouring the ancestors or posing a spiritual threat to the living family members. These tensions are especially evident in multicultural urban settings, where individuals from different tribes and clans live together, marry, and raise families (Slabbert 2016).

In other instances, tribal affiliations may impose additional emotional and ritual burdens on grieving families, particularly in relation to beliefs about death pollution, prescribed mourning periods, and cleansing practices. Pastoral caregivers must therefore approach such situations with sensitivity and cultural awareness.

When tribal loyalties risk intensifying family tensions or deepening suffering, church leaders must carefully balance respect for cultural traditions with theological and pastoral commitments to justice, peace, and the dignity of all persons involved (Dube 2016).

The song Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka is significant for this study because it functions both as a theological reflection and as a cultural artefact. Although it is not an ancient folk song, it employs traditional Tsonga imagery and communal expressions of grief to articulate the lived realities surrounding burial disputes (Mokgoro 2017). The recurring lament of the corpse reflects a collective awareness within the community that family conflicts disturb the moral and spiritual equilibrium, leaving the deceased in a state of dishonour and delaying their proper transition to the ancestral realm (Shoko & Danke 2024).

As a cultural artefact, the song illuminates themes of death, communal grief, and relational accountability, highlighting how conflicts among the living may threaten both social and spiritual continuity. From a theological perspective, it reflects African spiritual convictions concerning the sacred obligation to treat the deceased with dignity, while also resonating with Christian principles of respect for the body, reconciliation, and peace (Manthwa & Kodisang 2025). By situating the discussion of burial disputes within the Tsonga cultural framework, the song functions in this study as a hermeneutical lens that underscores the need for pastoral care attentive to both spiritual integrity and communal values (Mokgoro 2017).

According to 1 Corinthians 6:19, Christian teaching aligns with the biblical calls for peace, reconciliation, and reverence for the body as God’s temple. Although the primary emphasis of this verse concerns the moral conduct of believers, the assertion that the body is a ‘temple of the Holy Spirit’ also points to an enduring dignity that persists beyond death. In Paul’s theology, the body remains significant because it was once the dwelling place of God’s presence and is destined to be raised from the dead. A corpse should therefore be treated with respect and dignity, rather than regarded as a mere object.

When burial disputes transform the corpse into a source of conflict rather than reverence, they contradict the theological implications of 1 Corinthians 6:19. The verse therefore highlights the importance of pastoral care that safeguards the dignity of the deceased, encourages family reconciliation, and ensures that burial practices respect the sacred value of the body. In this sense, the song underscores the theological insight that unresolved disputes not only dishonour the dead but also undermine the divine order. Manthwa and Kodisang (2025:2) further observe that when burial disputes are brought before the courts, they are often intensified rather than resolved.

Khathide (2003) asserts that African churches and theologians still struggle to address ancestral customs adequately within a biblical framework, particularly among Christian communities. African scholars such as Mofokeng respond defensively by emphasising that ancestral practices should not necessarily be understood as worship. In many societies, religion and culture remain deeply intertwined (Baloyi 2024:8). It is therefore important to recognise that many Africans find it difficult to practise their faith without reference to, or support from, African cultural traditions.

Pastoral care refers to the provision of moral, emotional, and spiritual support to individuals or communities, particularly during times of crisis, loss, or major life transitions (Baloyi 2024). According to Mokgoro (2017), it involves listening, counselling, advising, and advocating to promote healing, reconciliation, and overall well-being. Pastoral care addresses not only the spiritual needs of individuals but also their interpersonal and communal relationships, often integrating cultural sensitivity with ethical awareness. Manthwa and Kodisang (2025) note that, in situations related to death and burial, pastoral care can assist families in resolving conflicts, honouring the deceased, and restoring social and spiritual harmony.

The song Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka may therefore be understood both as a pastoral care resource and as a cautionary narrative. It highlights the importance of spiritual counsellors engaging with families during times of distress to mediate conflicts that threaten social cohesion, and to provide comfort to those who have lost a loved one. By drawing on such cultural expressions in counselling, clergy can contextualise the message of the gospel within African lived experience, emphasising Christian hope in eternal life while addressing grief, reconciliation, and respect for cultural traditions (Kagali et al. 2025).

Beyond its artistic value, Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka may also be interpreted as a pastoral and theological hymn. It reminds African communities that death should unite people rather than divide them and calls pastoral caregivers to assist families in restoring peace, dignity, and spiritual integrity during burial disputes (Parker & Zaal 2016). In many African households, the death of a loved one often involves multiple layers of complexity shaped by cultural, spiritual, and legal expectations.

Within many communities, the deceased are still regarded as active members of the family, and burial rites therefore carry spiritual, social, and ancestral significance. The Tsonga song Xidumbu Xita Hlupheka [The corpse will suffer] reflects the lived realities of families who find themselves engaged in disputes over burial decisions (Kagali et al. 2025).

This article examines the consequences of such conflicts and explores pastoral counselling as an important intervention strategy. The African philosophy of Ubuntu emphasises the need to address disputes and conflicts in ways that promote consensus and the restoration of social relationships without undermining the possibility of future harmony (Murithi 2006).

Pastoral counselling is essential in assisting families facing burial-related challenges. It provides guidance that respects both legal and cultural frameworks while addressing spiritual and emotional concerns. For pastoral counselling to be effective, counsellors should employ structured approaches that promote healing, reconciliation, and respect for the deceased. The following strategies are recommended:

According to Baloyi (2024), post-funeral reconciliation is a crucial but frequently overlooked stage in the grieving process, particularly in African families where disputes over funeral arrangements may expose long-standing tensions, damaged relationships, or significant emotional trauma. During the funeral period, when emotions are heightened and decisions are often made under considerable pressure, family members may argue, assign blame, and develop lingering resentment. After the formal rites and burial, many families experience divisions as unresolved tensions continue to simmer beneath the surface.

Conflicts over burial rights, the administration of rituals, or the exclusion of certain family members from the process are particularly common in such situations (Slabbert 2016). If these conflicts remain unresolved, they may escalate and lead to strained communication, permanent estrangement, or even legal disputes. Intentional post-funeral healing initiatives are therefore essential in restoring family harmony and ensuring that the memory of the deceased is honoured in a respectful and peaceful manner (Dube 2016).

Pastoral care plays a vital role in addressing funeral-related conflicts by providing emotional and spiritual support while creating a safe space for family members to grieve and resolve disagreements. Pastors often serve as mediators, facilitating dialogue, clarifying misunderstandings, and guiding families towards compromise. In addition, they assist families in navigating cultural customs and legal burial rights with sensitivity and insight. Pastoral caregivers may also encourage pre-burial planning in order to reduce uncertainty and prevent conflict, while supporting rituals and ceremonies that honour both religious and cultural traditions (Manthwa & Kodisang 2025). Through these efforts, pastoral care helps restore the dignity of the deceased, promote reconciliation, and foster long-term healing within families and communities.

Following the burial, church leaders or spiritual counsellors may organise family gatherings, follow-up meetings, or reconciliation sessions that allow members to reflect on the experience, express their grievances, and seek forgiveness from one another. Such gatherings provide a supportive environment for discussing painful experiences, clarifying misunderstandings, and rebuilding relationships through the lenses of faith and communal responsibility. By using Scripture, prayer, and guided dialogue, pastoral teams can help families move from anger to acceptance and from division to unity.

After the funeral, churches may offer grief counselling and support groups to assist individuals in coping with their loss. By addressing the emotional and spiritual consequences of burial disputes, post-funeral reconciliation helps ensure that the death of a loved one becomes an opportunity for peace and restoration rather than a source of prolonged hostility. In this way, both the immediate family and the wider community benefit from the process (Matsane 2019).

The research findings directly address the problem statement, which identified burial disputes as a recurring source of emotional, cultural, and spiritual tension within South African households. The study demonstrates that these conflicts are not only the result of legal ambiguities but also arise from deeper tensions related to shifting family dynamics, customary expectations, and differing perspectives on how the dignity of the deceased should be honoured. By employing a practical-theological approach, informed by case-study analysis, the research shows that legal remedies alone are insufficient, as they often fail to address relational tensions or to consider the cultural and spiritual significance of funeral practices.

Through contextual theological reflection, the article further indicates that pastoral care – characterised by spiritual support, cultural sensitivity, and mediation – provides an essential framework for preventing and resolving such disputes. The findings therefore affirm the central argument of the problem statement: burial conflicts require a holistic response that combines legal clarity with culturally sensitive pastoral engagement to honour the deceased and promote healing among the living.